Star Trek: iDOLMASTER
by androidilenya
Summary: The idols star on the Japanese remake of the Western TV show series 'Star Trek', with Haruka as the captain. Second episode: 'The Trouble With Tribbles'.
1. Episode 1: Where No Man Has Gone Before

**Based on the TOS episode 'Where No Man Has Gone Before' (1x01). Lines are not word-for-word. And I'm just using the idols real names to make it easier to understand.**

**I own neither the iDOLMASTER nor Star Trek.**

* * *

**Teaser**

"Space... the final frontier."

("Everyone shut up, Haruka-chan's doing her lines!")

"These are the voyages of the starship _Enterprise_. Its five year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to... to..." The brown haired idol faltered, glancing back at the director.

("Oh, please. I'd do a much better job at that- _I_ would be a _great_ captain.")

Haruka took a deep breath. "...seek out new life and new civilizations..."

("Miki thinks that Deko-chan would make a bad captain.")

"To boldly go where no man has gone before!"

(How dare you!")

"End recording," the director called. Haruka leaned back in her chair, heaving a sigh of relief.

"Can't you guys be quiet for ten whole seconds while Haruka-chan's trying to record?" Makoto snapped at the quarreling idols. Miki gave her an innocent look, while Iori simply lifted her chin and sniffed.

"All I'm saying is that I would be a better captain than Haruka-chan."

"But you've already _got_ a part, Iori-chan," Hibiki pointed out.

"Yeah, Miki thinks that the part of a crabby old doctor fits you perfectly~"

"Shut _up_!"

"Hey, hey, places, everyone!" Hibiki called, waving from the set. "We're about to start the first scene!"

* * *

"Captain's log, stardate 1312.4. The impossible has happened. From directly ahead, we're picking up a recorded distress signal, the call letters of a vessel which has been missing for over two centuries. Did another Earth ship probe out of the galaxy as we intend to do? What happened to it out there? Is this some warning they've left behind?"

_(Cut to the briefing lounge. Captain Haruka Amami of the U.S.S. Enterprise and Vulcan science officer Lt. Commander Chihaya Kisaragi are playing three dimensional chess.)_

"I believe that I am about to checkmate you, captain," the blue-haired Vulcan noted.

Haruka nodded absentmindedly, preoccupied. She was waiting for the bridge's update on the unexplained Earth-vessel distress signal. Her ship was about to attempt to pass the galactic barrier- the protective area around the Milky Way galaxy that separated it from the galactic void, the dark, starless area between galaxies.

"You play a very irritating game of chess, Chihaya," she noted.

Her opponent raised one eyebrow. "Irritating? Ah, yes, one of your Earth emotions." Vulcans were a humanoid species known for their logical minds and intense emotional control. They also had green blood and pointed ears.

Haruka laughed and moved a piece. "Beat that!"

Chihaya simply turned and looked at her captain.

"Certain you don't know what irritation is?" the captain commented wryly.

"Despite the fact that one of my ancestors did marry a human female-"

"Terrible, having bad blood like that." Haruka interrupted. This kind of good-natured ribbing was common from her- she and Chihaya were really best friends, no matter how the Vulcan may have denied that if asked.

A voice came in over the comm. _"Captain, the object is within tractor beam range. And it's only about a meter in diameter, too small to be a vessel, sir."_

Haruka reached over and clicked the switch that gave her access to the comm. "Lock onto it, Lieutenant." She stood up and left the briefing room, followed by Chihaya.

* * *

_(Scene change: switch to transporter room. Lt. Commander Hibiki Ganaha, chief engineer, is standing at the transporter console. Captain Haruka and Chihaya enter.)_

"Hey, captain. Just about ready to beam it over- one second." Hibiki reached under the console and fiddled with something, then stood up. "Ready when you are, sir."

"Energize."

With a soft hum, the transporter pad activated. In a shimmery golden glow, the object materialized on the ship.

"Looks like an old-style ship recorder, eh, Chihaya?" Haruka asked. "That kind of thing would be ejected from a ship in an emergency."

"Affirmative. However, based on the level of damage that the object seems to have sustained, I would hypothesize that something destroyed the ship."

Hibiki picked up the object. It was about knee-height, with a thick grey cylinder mounted on three stubby legs and a yellow dome at the top. "Here, I can try to input the tapes into the computer, sir."

"Go ahead." Haruka watched as her chief engineer started to feed it into the computer. Then the taller girl stopped.

"Sir, the marker- it's transmitting a signal!"

Haruka immediately reached for the comm switch on the wall. "Red alert. All crew to stations."

* * *

**Short, yeah, but I'm doing the chapters based on the episode's scenes. That was the teaser.**

******Crew positions: Haruka (captain- Kirk), Chihaya (first officer/science officer- Spock), Iori (chief medical officer- McCoy), Hibiki (chief engineer/transporter chief- Scotty), Miki (communications officer- Uhura), Azusa (navigation... haha- Chekov), Yayoi (con officer- Sulu), Takane (yeoman- Janice Rand), Ami and Mami (nurses/anyone else), Makoto and Yukiho (episode specific parts). I think that's everyone... and my Spirk shipping totally influenced the Haruka/Chihaya placement, 'cause I ship them, too. Just saying.**

******Review please.**


	2. Scene One: ESP?

**Scene One**

_(Captain Haruka and Lt. Commander Chihaya enter turbolift. Around them the crew report to their emergency stations. Enter Lt. Commander Makoto Kikuchi.)_

"Hey, captain!" the grey-haired crewmember said, grinning. "Hold on."

"Getting into shape?" Haruka joked. Here was another one of her old friends- she and Makoto went back to their days at the Academy, training to join Starfleet.

"Yeah, well... I figured you weren't on the bridge. So... did ya finish the game?" That being a reference to Haruka and Chihaya's regular games of chess, which the former usually lost.

"She played most illogically," Chihaya said, staring straight ahead at the closed turbolift door. "Her next move should've been the rook."

Haruka chuckled. The turbolift doors squeaked open to reveal the bridge, command center of the whole starship. She stepped out and walked down to the center of the room, sinking into the command chair. "Call the department heads up here, would you?" she asked, addressing the white-haired yeoman next to her.

"Aye, sir," Takane replied softly, making her way to the nearest comm panel.

* * *

_(A few minutes later, the turbolift doors open once again to reveal Dr. Iori Minase, the chief medical officer on the Enterprise, Lt. Commander Hibiki Ganaha (whom we have already met) and Lt. Yayoi, helmsman and physicist. Accompanying Dr. Iori is Yukiho Hagiwara, specialist.)_

"Astro sciences standing by, Captain," Yayoi said.

"Engineering division ready, as always."

"Life sciences ready... sir," Iori said, looking annoyed. She kept on glaring at Haruka, for some reason. "And this is Dr. Yukiho, who joined the ship at the Alderbaran colony."

"M-my assignment is to study... crew r-reaction in emergency conditions," the shy brown-haired girl said.

Chihaya, who had been sitting in the corner trying to get the information out of the recovered ship recorder, interrupted the conversation. "I'm getting something from the recorder, sir."

"If there was an emergency on that ship... it sh-should be interesting to see h-how they reacted, too," Yukiho stuttered.

"Decoding memory banks," Chihaya continued. "I'll try to interpolate. The Valiant had encountered a magnetic space storm and was being swept in that direction..."

"I guess the old impulse engines weren't strong enough to break free," Haruka noted.

"Swept past this point, about a half light year out of the galaxy, they were thrown clear, turned, and headed back into the galaxy here. I'm not getting it all. The tapes are pretty badly burned. Sounds like the ship had encountered some unknown force. Now, orders, counter orders, repeated urgent requests for information from the ship's computer records for anything concerning ESP in human beings."

"Extrasensory perception, huh?" Haruka leaned forward, interested. "Dr. Yukiho, how are you on ESP?"

"Um... in tests I've taken, my ESP rated rather high..."

"I'm asking what you _know_ about ESP," Haruka replied.

"Ah!" Yukiho blushed. "I-it is a fact that some people c-can sense future happenings, read the backs o-of playing cards and so one, but the esper capacity is always qu-quite limited."

Chihaya continued her reading of the information stored on the recorder. "Severe damage. Seven crewmen dead... no, make that six. One crewman seems to have recovered. That's when they became interested in ESP." She paused to consider. "More than interested. Almost frantic about it." There was another pause, then the Vulcan raised an eyebrow. "No, this must be garbled. I get something about destruct. I must have read it wrong. It sounded like the captain gave an order to destroy his ship."

Haruka frowned, then turned to the department heads. "Comments?"

"The only thing we know for sure is that the SS Valiant was destroyed," Iori said, still with that irritated look on her face, as if she took the lack of information on the ship's fate to be the captain's fault, somehow.

"That's probably the best argument in favor of continuing the mission. Other vessels will be heading out there someday and they have to know what they're facing. And our primary mission has been, and always will be, exploration," Haruka replied, a determined note entering her voice. "We're leaving the galaxy. Lt. Azusa, warp factor one."

The blue-haired woman at the navigation console at the front of the room, near the viewscreen, nodded. "Aye, sir."

Lt. Yayoi joined Azusa at the front of the room, taking her place next to her in the helmsman seat.

"There's a force field of some kind," Chihaya reported from the science station.

"We're coming up on it fast," Makoto added.

"Sensor beam on," the blue-haired Vulcan ordered.

"Sensor beam on, sir," Yayoi replied.

"Deflectors full intensity."

"Aye, sir. Deflectors full intensity."

Chihaya looked at the captain. "Deflectors say there's something there, sensors say there isn't. Density negative. Radiation negative. Energy negative."

"Whatever it is, contact in twelve seconds," Yayoi added.

"Gravitation on automatic," Haruka said. Almost as soon as the words left her mouth, the consoles to her right and left exploded, showering the deck in fragments of burnt plastic and glass. "Emergency alert! All decks on fire alert. Neutralize controls. Yayoi, put it on manual. Any radiation? Anything?"

"Negative!" Chihaya called.

"Helmsman, take us out of here!"

An electrical charge hit Makoto, then another struck Yukiho. Both girls fell to the floor, unconscious. Yayoi was already out of her seat, having been thrown by the initial blast. The ship was trembling, shaking the deck back and forth. Haruka bolted out of her seat and grabbed the helm controls. "Lateral power!" she called. Chihaya input something into her console and the Enterprise veered away. "Take damage reports."

"Gravity control switching to batteries," someone replied.

"S-something hit me..." Yukiho groaned, sitting up. "L-like an electrical charge."

Iori knelt beside Makoto, who was still out. "She's alive. Appears to be in shock."

"Engineering deck three, can you give me a report?" Chihaya spoke into the comm, ignoring the doctor. She turned to the captain. "Main engines are out, sir. We're on emergency power cells. Casualties... nine dead."

"Makoto. Makoto, are you alright?" Haruka asked, touching the grey-haired girl, concerned.

"I'm a little weak for some reason, Haruka... but I feel alright now." Makoto opened her eyes and Haruka gasped, pulling away.

The girl's eyes were no longer their usual dark shade- they were a bizarre, glowing silver.

* * *

**If it's not clear what's going on: the Enterprise (that's the starship they're on) is trying to breach the galactic barrier, which is a kinda force field that surrounds the galaxy. They encountered it and got damaged and some weird stuff is happening now.**

**Review please.**


	3. Scene Two: Superhuman

**Scene Two**

"Captain's log, stardate 1312.9. Ship's condition: heading back on impulse power only. Main engines burned out. The ship's space warp ability gone. Earth bases which were only days away are now years in the distance. Our overriding question now is what destroyed the Valiant? They lived through the barrier, just as we have. What happened to them after that?"

_(Bridge. Captain Haruka walks to science station, where Lt. Commander Spock is reviewing medical records of the crewmembers that died in the encounter last scene. Dr. Yukiho stands next to her.)_

"Autopsy report, sir," the brown-haired girl explained as Haruka leaned over, peering at the screen. "E-each case showed damage to the body's n-neural circuit. A-an area of the b-brain was burned out."

"Are you feeling okay?" the captain asked her. Yukiho nodded.

"Yeah. M-makoto, too, except for her eyes. W-we're trying to figure out why only certain members of the crew were affected right now."

"I think we've found that answer," Chihaya noted, looking up.

Haruka glanced at the screen and nodded, understanding. She turned to Yukiho and said, "You mentioned that tests show that you have a high level of ESP. So do the records of the others. Makoto Kikuchi has the highest rating of them all."

"I-if you're suggesting there's anything dangerous-"

"Before the Valiant was destroyed, its captain was frantically searching for ESP information on his crew," Chihaya interrupted.

"E-espers are just people with... flashes of insight."

"Are there not also those who seem to see through solid objects, cause fires to start spontaneously?" the Vulcan pressed, obviously trying to make a point."

"There's nothing about it that could possibly make a person dangerous," Yukiho replied, flustered.

Chihaya turned to the captain. "Dr. Yukiho is speaking of normal ESP power."

"P-perhaps you know of another kind?" Yukiho replied, obviously a bit annoyed.

"Do we know for sure, Doctor, that there isn't another kind?" Haruka said, looking thoughtful.

_(Cut to sickbay. Makoto is sitting on a bed, reading text on a viewer, trying to pass time. Enter Captain Haruka.)_

"Hey, Haruka," Makoto said without looking up to see who it was. "You look worried." Her eyes were still that flat, creepy silver.

"Do you feel any different?" Haruka asked, coming closer.

"In a way, I feel better than I have before in my life. It actually seems to have done me some good."

"Yeah? How?"

"Well, I'm getting a chance to read some of these books you recommended."

"How are they?"

Makoto sighed. "I'm trying to tell you I feel fine. When can I go back on duty?"

"I'm going to ask Dr. Yukiho to keep an eye on you." Haruka turned to leave, but caught sight of the screen on which Makoto was reading. The text was scrolling down at an incredible rate- far faster than any human could have followed, but the grey-haired girl seemed to have no trouble reading it.

Obviously slightly freaked out, Haruka stepped out of sickbay, doors squeaking closed behind her.

_(Cut to bridge. Captain Haruka leans over Chihaya's shoulder, looking at a projection of Makoto's computer screen from down in sickbay.)_

"She's reading even faster now than she was just a few minutes ago. Is that Makoto Kikuchi the one you used to know?" Chihaya asked.

Haruka frowned, looking troubled. "Put a twenty four hour watch on sickbay. Run the fullest range of possible examinations and tests on Makoto."

_(Cut back to sickbay. Makoto is still on the bed. Dr. Iori leans over her, apparently examining her. Dr. Yukiho sits in a chair on the other side of the bed.)_

"Perfect. I've never had a patient like you, Makoto. Even the healthiest person is usually off on some reading." She sighed and straightened up, then left sickbay.

"H-how do you feel?" Yukiho asked softly.

"You know, everybody seems so worried that I don't have some kind of fever. Maybe I should change that-" Makoto frowned in concentration. Yukiho glanced up at the monitor above the bed that displayed the patient's heart rate and vital signs. Suddenly the readings soared, heart rate exceeding the healthiest maximum for a human, temperature rising at an alarming rate. Startled, Yukiho stood- only to see the readings fall back to normal.

"M-makoto?"

"Back to normal, eh?" She turned her flat silver eyes on the scared girl.

"H-how d-did you d-do that?"

"I'm not sure," the grey-haired girl replied, looking thoughtfully up at the ceiling. "It... it's like I just _thought_ about it and it... happened. Hey, watch this!"

The indicators plummeted, heart rate flatlining. Makoto collapsed against the bed and Yukiho screamed.

"Stop it. _Stop it_!"

The readings returned to normal. Makoto sat back up, a playful smile on her face. "Why so alarmed?"

"You were dead for almost twenty two seconds," Yukiho whispered, horrified. "There were no readings at all."

"Yeah. And that's just some of the weird stuff I can do, Doctor. There... there've been other things too. Like going halfway through the ship's library in hardly a day." She shivered slightly, meeting Yukiho's fearful brown eyes with her creepy mettallic ones. "What's happening to me?"

"Do you remember everything you read th-that quickly?" Yukiho asked.

"Yeah."

"On any tape?" She pulled the reading screen to her, flicking through the pages with the click of a button.

"Sure. Yeah."

"Okay. Try this one. P-page three eighty seven."

"My love has wings... slender, feathered things with grace in upswept curve and tapered tip. The Nightingale Woman, written by Phineas Tarbolde on the Canopius planet in 1996. Any particular reason you picked that one?" Makoto asked.

"Y-you actually remember it," Yukiho breathed, fascinated. "How?"

"I don't know."

The soft squeak of the doors opening made them both look up. Lt Yayoi entered, smiling.

"Hey! I was on my coffee break and thought I'd check up."

Makoto smiled at the sight of the energetic, orange-haired girl. "How go the repairs?"

Yayoi frowned, one finger on her chin. "Well, the main engines are out, unless we find some way to re-energize them."

"You'd better check the starboard impulse packs. Those points have about decayed to lead," Makoto told her.

"Oh, yeah, sure, Makoto," Yayoi giggled. "How would you know that? You've been in this bed ever since we got-"

"I'm not joking, Yayoi!" Makoto shouted, sitting up all the way and glaring at the helmsman, voice suddenly loud. "You activate those packs and you'll blow the whole impulse deck."

Looking slightly freaked out, Yayoi nodded. "I'll... er, I'll get on that right away. I... um, see you later." She hurried out.

"She's an idiot," Makoto muttered. "She saw those points and didn't realize the condition they were in."

"How do you know?" Yukiho asked.

"The image of what she'd seen was still in her mind."

Yukiho's eyes widened. "Y-you... saw what was in his mind?"

The girl on the bed didn't respond.

_(Cut to briefing room. Captain Haruka, Lt. Commander Chihaya, Commander Hibiki, and Dr. Iori sit at the table. Lt. Yayoi stands at the front of the room, reporting to the senior officers.)_

"...it didn't make any sense that she'd know, but naturally I checked the circuit anyways. I don't know how, but she was _right_. The point is burned out exactly how she described it," the orange-haired girl concluded, then sat down.

The doors opened again and Dr. Yukiho rushed in. "Sorry I'm late, c-captain," she stammered. "I've been so interested in observing M-makoto that I lost track of time..."

"Our subject is not Makoto Kikuchi," Chihaya said, perhaps a bit sharply. "Our concern is what she is mutating into. She is developing... god-like powers."

Yukiho glared at the Vulcan, uncharacteristically incensed. "I know those from your planet aren't suppose to have feelings like we do, but to talk that way about someone you've worked next to for years is worse than-"

"That's enough, Doctor," Haruka said softly.

"I don't think so. I understand you least of all. Makoto told me that you've been friends since she joined the service, that you asked for her aboard your first command."

"It is my duty, however pleasant or unpleasant, to listen to the reports, observations, even speculations, on any subject that might affect the safety of this vessel," the captain said firmly, "and it's my science officer's duty to see I'm provided with that. Go ahead, Chihaya."

The blue-haired Vulcan nodded and turned back to Yukiho. "Have you noticed evidence of unusual powers?"

"Sh-he can control certain autonomic reflexes... like heart rate and temperature. She r-reads much faster, too, r-retains more than most of us can consider normal." Yukiho shrugged. "But it isn't a _bad_ thing..."

Haruka turned to Commander Hibiki. "Can you repeat what you just told me, please?"

Hibiki nodded. "Well, about an hour ago, the bridge controls started goin' crazy. Levers shifting by themselves, buttons being pushed, instrument readings changing, all without anyone touching them."

"And on my monitor screen, I could see Makoto smiling each time it happened, as if the ship and crew were... toys, for her amusement," Chihaya added.

"Are they right, Doctor?" Haruka asked Yukiho. "Has she shown abilities like that?"

"Y-yes, but..."

"And you didn't think it worth mentioning?" the captain pressed. Yukiho shrank back.

"N-no one's been hurt, h-have they?" Her voice gained a bit of strength as she continued, "Don't you see, captain? A mutated superior human c-could also be a _wonderful_ thing. Th-the beginning of a new and b-better kind of being..."

Haruka looked doubtful. "Yayoi? What do you think?"

"If you want the mathematics of it... Makoto's power's increasing geometrically. I mean, it's like if you have a penny and you double it every day. In a month, you'll be a millionaire."

"In less time than that, she will have attained powers we can't even understand, let alone cope with," Chihaya added. "Soon we'll not only be useless to her, but actually an annoyance. There will be nothing stopping her from eliminating all of us."

This pronouncement was met with some surprise. Yukiho glared at Chihaya, obviously annoyed at her for arguing against her.

"That's all," Haruka said. As the senior officers stood to leave, she added, "There will be no discussion of this with the crew."

Chihaya remained in her chair. "We'll never reach an Earth base with her aboard, Haruka. You heard what Yayoi said. in a month he'll have as much in common with us as we'd have with... a ship full of _white mice_."

"I need a recommendation, Chihaya, not vague warnings."

"Recommendation one. There's a planet a few light-days away from here... Delta Vega. It has a lithium cracking station. We may be able to adapt some of its power packs to our engines. Use them for power."

Like most of the Vulcan's suggestions, it was a logical course of action. Haruka nodded. "But what if we can't adapt them? We'd be stuck in orbit there. We wouldn't have enough power to blast back out of the planet's gravitational well."

"It is also the only possible way to get Makoto off this ship."

The captain shook her head. "If you mean strand Makoto there, I won't do it. That station is fully automated, there's not a soul on that planet. Even the ore ships call only once every twenty years."

"Then there's only one other option. Kill Makoto while you still can."

Haruka stood up, anger clear on her face. "Get out of here. I won't listen to that."

"It is your only other choice, assuming you make it while we still have time," the Vulcan replied calmly.

"Will you try for one moment to _feel_? At least act like you've got a heart. This is _Makoto_ we're talking about."

"The captain of the Valiant probably felt the same way, and he waited too long to make his decision. I think we've both guessed that."

Unable to deny the validity of the blue-haired girl's argument, Haruka sighed heavily. "Fine. Set course for Delta Vega."

* * *

**Review please.**


	4. Scene Three: Vulcans Are Always Right

**Scene Three**

_(voiceover: Captain Haruka, recording captain's log.)_

"Stardate 1313.1. We're now approaching Delta Vega. Course set for a standard orbit. This planet, completely uninhabited, is slightly smaller than Earth, desolate, but rich in crystal and minerals. Yayoi's task- transport down with a repair party, try to regenerate the main engines, save the ship. Our task- transport a girl I've known for years down and, if we're successful, maroon her there."

_(cut to sickbay. Makoto lies on the bed and Captain Haruka sits next to her, looking concerned. Lt. Commander Chihaya stands a few feet away, gazing impassively at them. Dr. Yukiho is at the other end of the room.)_

"I'm thirsty," Makoto muttered.

"Do you want me to-" Haruka froze, shocked into silence as she noticed movement at the other end of the room. A cup slid across the counter, stopped under the tap, filled, and flew across the room into Makoto's hand- all without anyone touching it at all. It was fairly obvious that the grey-haired girl's powers were continuing to evolve.

"It's like a man who's been blind all his life learning to see," Makoto said as if she hadn't just demonstrated some kick-ass telekinesis. "Sometimes I feel like there's nothing I couldn't do, in time. Some people think that makes me a monster. Don't they, Haruka?"

"Are you reading all our thoughts, Makoto?" The captain looked a bit scared.

"I can mainly sense worry in you, Haruka. Safety of your ship."

"What would you do in my case?" Haruka asked softly, tears threatening at the edges of her vision. She didn't want to exile her friend, but it was obvious that this was no longer the Makoto she had known. Something about the journey through the galactic barrier had changed her... made her a danger to the rest of the ship. And Haruka, as captain of the Enterprise, had to weigh the safety of the rest of her crew over the life of a single girl.

"Probably the same as what Chihaya is thinking right now. Kill me while you still can."

The blue-haired Vulcan started forward, mouth open to say something, but Makoto lifted her hand threateningly. A bolt of electricity shot out of her hand, enveloping Haruka and Chihaya. Grinning sadistically, she watched the senior officers writhe as she zapped them.

"S-stop it, Makoto!" Yukiho cried, rushing over and shaking her friend frantically.

"I also know we're orbiting Delta Vega, Haruka," Makoto continued, ignoring the brown-haired doctor. "I can't let you force me down there. I may not want to leave this ship yet. I may want another place. I'm not sure what kind of world I could use."

"U-use?" Yukiho stammered.

"I don't understand it all yet, but if I keep growing... keep getting stronger... why, the things I could do- like... like a _god_, maybe." Makoto released the electrical aura surrounding Haruka and Chihaya and the latter immediately lept forward and struck her, knocking her out.

"Dr. Yukiho, I want her sedated for awhile," Haruka ordered, nodding at the unconscious girl on the bed.

_(cut to transporter room. Captain Haruka and Dr. Iori carry Makoto in and set her on the pad.)_

Makoto stirred. Her eyes snapped open- they were still that shining silver. "No! I won't let you!"

She tried to sit up, but Haruka forced her back down. "Doctor! We need to sedate her again so we can get her down to the surface!"

"You fools!" Makoto raged, struggling against the captain. "I'l squash you like... like a cockroach!"

Iori pressed the hypospray against the girl's neck and released the medicine inside with a soft hiss. Makoto slumped back, unconscious once again.

* * *

_(planet surface, at the Delta vega brig. Makoto lies inside, separated from the others and imprisoned by the blue shimmer of a force field. Captain Haruka, Lt. Commander Chihaya, and Dr. Yukiho are there as well, on the other side of the force field.)_

"She's regaining consciousness, captain," Chihaya called.

Haruka leaned closer, almost touching the force field. Makoto opened her eyes and sat up, looking thoughtfully at the captain. They maintained eye contact for a few seconds, then Makoto broke the silence that was rapidly becoming awkward.

"Why are you afraid of me, Haruka?"

"You've been testing your abilities to take over the Enterprise. In the transporter room, you said something about us seeming like insects by comparison, squashing us if we got in your way."

Makoto looked uncomfortable. "I... was drugged then."

"Yes. In the Sickbay, you said if you were in my place, you'd kill a mutant like yourself. "

Suddenly angry, Makoto stood up. "Why don't you kill me then? Chihaya is right and you're a fool if you can't see it."

"Y-you don't m-mean that, r-right?" Yukiho asked, concern flashing across her face.

"The race of man can't survive if a true species of espers is born." Makoto spat. "In time you'll understand that." She threw herself against the force field, feedback crackling around her.

"Makoto. Makoto, don't!" Haruka gasped.

The grey-haired girl's eyes suddenly flickered, losing their flat sliver sheen and reverting to their previous dark shade. "Haruka..."

"Her eyes went back to normal," the captain whispered, shocked.

"Fighting the force field drained her energy, at least for now," Chihaya observed dispassionately. "She could be handled now."

"I'll just keep getting stronger. You know that, don't you?" Makoto's voice was almost pleading- as if she was asking them to keep her from gaining that power.

_(Delta Vega control room, Captain Haruka and Lt. Yayoi stand by the control panels.)_

Haruka's communicator bleeped and she reached for it, snapping it open.

_(cut to bridge- Hibiki stands by a new computer panel, speaking into her communicator.)_

"Hey, captain," Hibiki said cheerfully. "Just put on a new panel in that science station- fits like a glove. We're almost done up here."

"_Thank you, Hibiki_," Haruka replied from the communicator.

_(cut back to Delta Vega control room.)_

"_Did Chihaya get that phaser rifle we sent down?_" Hibiki asked.

"I didn't order any..." Haruka trailed off as the blue-haired Vulcan entered, holding the rifle in question. "Affirmative. Landing party out." She flipped her communicator closed.

"She tried to get through the force field again," Chihaya reported. "Her eyes changed back faster. She didn't get as weak."

"Dr. Yukiho feels that she isn't dangerous," Haruka countered. "What makes you right and a trained psychiatrist wrong?"

"Because she feels. I don't. All I know is logic." In other words, Chihaya was a Vulcan and Vulcans are always right. "In my opinion we'll be lucky if we can repair this ship and get away in time. The wisest course of action would be to kill her."

Haruka shook her head. "No. I'll strand her here forever if that's what it takes, but I refuse to kill a friend."

* * *

**Review or DIE.**


	5. Scene Four: Forgive Me

**Scene Four**

_(Delta Vega control room, empty. Haruka voiceover, reading captain's log.)_

"Captain's log, stardate 1313.3. Note commendations on Lieutenant Yayoi and the engineering staff. In orbit above us, the engines of the Enterprise are almost fully regenerated. Balance of the landing party is being transported back up. Makoto, whatever she's become, keeps changing, growing stronger by the minute."

_(Delta Vega brig. Dr. Yukiho, Captain Haruka, and Lt. Commander Chihaya are looking at Makoto, who seems to be asleep.)_

"Sh-she's been like that for hours now," Yukiho said softly.

Haruka nodded. "Have Doctor Iori meet us in the control room with Yayoi. We'll all transport up together."

"If he should try to stop us-" Chihaya started to say, but Haruka cut her off.

"Yayoi's got a bomb rigged up here and her finger will be on the destruct button until the last minute. I think she knows that."

"C-captain?"

"Yes, Dr. Yukiho?"

"I want to stay here. WIth her."

_(Cut to Delta Vega control room. Yukiho stands alone at a computer station, speaking into her communicator to Commander Hibiki, who is still aboard the Enterprise.)_

"Fission chamber three checks out, sir. The station seems to be running fine," Yayoi reported.

Hibiki laughed. _"You're a talented thief, Yayoi. Everything you sent up here is a perfect fit._"

"I'm kinda proud of the job we've done," Yayoi giggled. "We're going to be ready to transport up-" She broke off, a horrified expression crossing her face. She brought her hands up to her neck, where a cable that was lying on the ground was now encircling her throat, cutting off her air. It slowly tightened, choking her.

_(Cut to Delta Vega. Haruka and Yukiho argue in the background, but the camera is zoomed in on Makoto, who is smirking slightly, eyes open. It's obvious that she's the one strangling Yayoi using her newfound psionic powers.)_

"You have to come back to the ship with us, Doctor," Haruka said firmly.

"She isn't _evil_!" Yukiho pleaded.

"I gave you an order," the captain replied sternly.

Yukiho opened her mouth to respond, but whatever she was about to say was lost as Makoto stood, raising his hand towards Haruka.

"You should've killed me while you could, Haruka. Command and compassion are a fools mixture." He zapped Haruka and Chihaya again. This time, they fell to the ground immediately, unconscious. Yukiho was apparently unaffected, and she did nothing to stop Makoto as she waved her hand, dispelling the force field that had kept her imprisoned. Then Yukiho moved to stand next to Makoto, and in doing so turned, revealing her face.

Her eyes were the same silver color as Makoto's now.

* * *

"What happened?" Haruka sat up, rubbing her head. Dr. Iori was bent over her, a hypospray in her hand.

"It hit me too, whatever it was. Yayoi almost died- I think Makoto strangled her. But she's fine now, and Chihaya's still out. Both of them are alive."

"Where's Dr. Yukiho?"

Iori bit her lip. "She went with Makoto."

"Did you see which way?"

"Yes... they were headed up across the valley, to the left of the pointed peaks. There's some flatlands beyond."

"I'm going after them." Haruka stood up, determined. "When Chihaya recovers, beam up with her and Yayoi."

"But Captain-"

"If you haven't received a signal from me in twelve hours, you'll proceed at maximum warp to the nearest Earth base with my recommendation that this entire planet be subjected to a lethal concentration of neutron radiation. No protest on this, Iori. That's an order."

Iori didn't look like she had an objection to Haruka risking her life, though if she had read the script she'd have known that the captain never got killed.

_(Cut to planet surface, a desert-type wasteland. Makoto and Yukiho stand at the base of a rocky cliff. Both of them still have those weird silver eyes.)_

"It would take a miracle to survive here," Yukiho said softly.

"Then I shall make one!" Makoto said grandly, sweeping her arm out. "Behold!" An oasis with flowers and a spring appeared out of nowhere. "Soon, you too will be able to do this. To be like a god. To make the world anything you want it to be." She paused, looking troubled.

"What's wrong?"

"A visitor, a very foolish captain." She turned towards an apparently deserted area of fallen rocks.

_(cut to behind a pile of rocks. Haruka crouches there, holding the phaser rifle. Makoto's voice booms out of nowhere, making her jump and look around.)_

"Can you hear me, Haruka? You can't see me. I'm not there. You come to me, okay? I'll be waiting."

_(cut back to Makoto and Yukiho.)_

"I can see her in my mind, too," Yukiho whispered, astonished.

"Go to her, Yukiho. Talk to her. Now that you're changing as well I want you to see just how unimportant they are."

She nodded and started walking towards the pile of rocks where both of them knew that Haruka was hiding, though the captain had given no sign of her presence. That was just one of the things you know when you were an omnipotent (or almost-omnipotent) human.

Haruka looked up in surprise as Yukiho approached. She saw the doctor's flat silver eyes for the first time and gasped.

"Yes, it just took a little longer for it to happen to me," Yukiho replied to Haruka's unspoken question.

"You must help me, Yukiho. Before it goes too far."

"What she's doing is right for both me and her." The brown-haired girl seemed much more confident now- her stutter was absolutely gone.

"And for humanity?" When Yukiho didn't respond, Haruka added, "You're still human, you know."

"No, I-"

"At least partly, you are, or you wouldn't be standing here talking to me."

Yukiho looked a bit uncomfortable. "You know, Earth really is unimportant. Before long, we'll be where it would have taken mankind millions of years of learning to reach." She sounded like she was trying to convince herself as much as Haruka.

"What will Makoto learn in getting there? Will she know what to do with her power? Will she acquire the wisdom?" the captain pressed, seeing Yukiho's hesitation.

"Please... go back while you still can."

"Did you hear her joke about compassion? Above all else, a god needs compassion." It was obvious that Haruka didn't want to leave without Yukiho.

"What do you know about gods?"

"Then let's talk about humans, about our frailties. As powerful as she gets, she'll have all that inside her."

"Go back."

"You were a psychiatrist once. You know the ugly, savage things we all keep buried, that none of us dare expose. But she'll dare. Who's to stop her? She doesn't need to care. Be a psychiatrist for one minute longer. What do you see happening to her? What's your prognosis, Doctor?"

"She's coming," Yukiho whispered, casting a fearful glance behind her.

"Then watch her. Hang onto being a human for a moment longer," the captain begged.

Makoto appeared next to them, a smirk on her face. "Haruka! My old friend!"

Yukiho gasped and lashed out at the grey haired girl, sending a bolt of electricity at her. It had no effect on the former human.

"I'm disappointed in you, Yukiho." With a gesture, Makoto sent the shorter girl flying into the pile of rocks. She slid to the ground, limp, and Haruka screamed. The captain lifted the phaser rifle and fired point-blank at her former friend, but it had no visible effect.

"I've been thinking about the death of an old friend, Haruka. You deserve a decent burial." Makoto gestured and a tombstone appeared, with a grave dug out in front of it. Carved on the stone, creepily enough, was 'Haruka Amami'.

"S-stop it, Makoto..." Yukiho choked out, standing up and clutched her stomach. Blood ran down her face from where she had been thrown against the rocks, but she was still alive- for now, at least.

"Morals are for men, not for gods," Makoto spat.

"A god, but still driven by human frailty," Haruka replied calmly, speaking to Yukiho. "Do you like what you see?"

The grey haired girl waved her hand and Haruka was forced to her knees before her. "Pray to me, captain."

"To you? Not both of you?" The brown-haired girl cast a meaningful glance at Yukiho, whose eyes widened at the implications of that.

"Pray that you die easily," Makoto said, grinning.

Haruka ignored her friend's posturing, addressing Yukiho. "There'll only be one of you in the end. One jealous god. If all this makes a god... or is it making you something else?"

"Your last chance, Haruka," Makoto yelled.

She continued speaking earnestly to Yukiho. "Do you like what you see? Absolute power corrupting absolutely?"

A flash of determination crossed the doctor's face. She raised her hands again and zapped Makoto. This time it had some effect- the taller girl was driven back, eyes flickering back to normal momentarily. However, she responded with a barrage of her own, sending Yukiho flying.

"Hurry! You haven't got much time!" Yukiho cried. Haruka ran forward and crashed into Makoto, sending both of them to the ground. They punched and wrestled in the dust until Haruka's hand fell on a rock. Raising it above her head, panting heavily, she met Makoto's eyes.

"Makoto, forgive me."

The girl's eyes glowed silver. "For a moment, Haruka, but your moment is fading." She jerked up and both of them fell into the grave that Makoto had created. The captain sprang out and fired the phaser rifle at the cliff wall above. A large boulder fell from above, entombing Makoto in her own grave.

She turned to Yukiho, who lay next to the rock pile.

"I'm sorry," the brown haired doctor whispered. "You can't know what it's like to almost be a god." She slowly closed her eyes. Haruka dashed over and felt for a pulse, but there was nothing.

There was a long pause before Haruka pulled out her communicator and flipped it open. "Enterprise from Captain Haruka, come in."

* * *

Haruka flicked the switch on the arm of the captain's chair. "Captain's log, Star date 1313.8. Add to official losses, Doctor Yukiho Hagiwara. Be it noted she gave her life in performance of her duty. Lieutenant Commander Makoto Kikuchi, same notation." She ended to recording and turned to her first officer, who was standing behind her. "I want her service record to end that way. She didn't ask for what happened to her."

"I... felt for her, too," Chihaya replied softly.

Haruka chuckled. "I believe there's some hope for you after all, Chihaya."

* * *

**And... well, that's the end of the first episode. If it seems like anyone's interested in this I'll do another episode. Makoto and Yukiho would probably reappear as different characters. Since they, you know, died.**

**Review please.**


	6. Episode 2: The Trouble With Tribbles

**Star Trek: iDOLMASTER Episode Two: The Trouble With Tribbles **

**Which, you know, is one of the funniest in the whole series. And one of my favorites.**

* * *

**Teaser**

* * *

"Aren't you upset that you haven't even been onscreen for a full minute yet?"

Azusa looked up at the brown-haired idol, one hand on the side of her face and a good-natured smile on her face. "Not really, Iori-chan. Maybe my part just isn't big enough yet!"

Iori snorted. "I think we should speak with the director. First of all, I still think I would make a much better captain than Haruka-chan..."

"But Iorin, the first episode's already aired," Ami pointed out, popping up out of nowhere.

"Yeah, they can't change the captain _now_,_" _her twin added.

"What about you two? You haven't even done anything yet," Iori pointed out, looking down her nose at the energetic girls.

"Yeah, yeah, but we've got a part in this next episode!" Mami waved the script in Iori's face, grinning. "Lookit! We get to both appear and do stuff!"

"Ano..." Yukiho sidled up. "Did you guys hear about who's coming to be in this episode?"

"No, who?"

"Touma Amagase. From Project Jupiter."

"WHAT!?" the three girls chorused, staring at her.

"Y-yeah, they wanted more than just girls onscreen..."

"All hands to the set!" the director called. "Cameras ready?"

* * *

(In briefing room. Captain Haruka sits at the head of the table. Lt. Commander Chihaya is to her left, and Lt. Yayoi to her right.)

"Deep Space Station K7 now within sensor range, Captain," Chihaya noted, looking up from her sensor readout.

Haruka nodded. "Good. Lt. Yayoi, this flight is supposed to provide both experience and knowledge. How close will we come to the Klingon outpost if we continue on our present course?"

"One parsec, sir," Yayoi said, seeming excited about this prospect. "Close enough to smell them!"

"That is illogical, Lieutenant. Odours cannot travel through the vacuum of space." This, of course, came from the blue-haired Vulcan. Yayoi wilted slightly under Chihaya's stare.

"It... it was just a little joke..."

"Extremely little." Chihaya turned back to the captain.

"Chihaya? Can you tell me about the immediate history of this quadrant?"

The Vulcan nodded. "Under dispute between the two parties since initial contact. The battle of Donatu Five was fought near here twenty three solar years ago. Inconclusive."

"Analysis of disputed area?"

"Undeveloped. Sherman's Planet is claimed by both sides, our Federation and the Klingon Empire. We do have the better claim." Chihaya looked pointedly at Yayoi. "For those of us who seem to have no knowledge of current events, we were at war with the Klingon Empire until the Organians forced a peace treaty on us. The Federation is still not on the best of terms with the Klingons."

Yayoi bristled with indignation. "I know about that! Under terms of the Organian Peace Treaty, one side or the other must prove it can develop the planet most efficiently! See?"

"And unfortunately, though the Klingons are brutal and aggressive, they are most efficient," Haruka cut in. "So if we want this planet to develop we're gonna have to prove we'll be better at it than the Klingons. Which might be hard."

"Never underestimate us! We will do everything in our power to WIN!" Yayoi cried, clenching her fists. Chihaya stared at the orange-haired girl.

"Captain?" Lt. Miki's voice crackled in over the intercom.

Haruka punched a button next to her. "Haruka here."

"I'm picking up a subspace distress call. Priority channel. It's from Space Station K7."

The captain nodded. "Go to warp factor six. Haruka out."

"Code one emergency?" Yayoi blurted out. "That's a disaster call!"

"This is a Red Alert. Man your battle stations. All hands!" Miki seemed to have a lot of fun saying those words.

Haruka sighed. _Why do I feel like this happens far too often...?_

* * *

**Commercial break, bro. That's why it's called a teaser. Short and gets you interested.**

**Usual cast. Also starring Ami and Mami as the tribble guy, Makoto as the Klingon commander, Yukiho as the bartender, guest star Touma as the idiot Starfleet guy, and Takane as the K7 commander. Oh, and the Producer as the random Starfleet admiral. Ought to be interesting.**

**Review please.**


	7. Scene One: What's a Tribble?

**Scene One**

* * *

(On the bridge. Captain Haruka is in the center seat, everyone else at their usual stations. The red alert lights are flashing, everyone looks tense but ready for action.)

"Captain's Log, stardate 4523.3. Deep Space Station K7 has issued a priority one call. More than an emergency, it signals near or total disaster. We can only assume the Klingons have attacked the station. We're going in armed for battle."

"Main phasers armed and ready, sir," Azusa said vaguely, kind of staring at her console like she wasn't sure what she was doing. But that was just Azusa.

Onscreen was a view of the space station, spread out against the black backdrop of space like a metallic insect. It didn't look like it had recently been under attack. Nor were there any signs of a Klingon battleship.

"Looks like it was a false alarm, eh?" Azusa noted, going off-script. Everyone glanced at her and she shrugged. "I mean. There's nothing there except the space station."

Haruka looked annoyed. "Priority One distress call, and it's just absolutely peaceful. Lt. Miki, break subspace silence."

"Aye, sir. The channel's open, sir." Miki grinned. "Miki wants to hear you yell at them, captain~"

"Can you guys stay on script?" Chihaya muttered, too quietly to be picked up by the microphones.

Haruka smiled slightly, then spoke through the communications network to the space station below. "Space Station K7, this is Captain Haruka of the Enterprise. What is your emergency?"

A soft female voice came in through the speakers. "This is Commander Takane, manager of K7. I must... apologise for the distress call."

"Commander Takane, you issued a Priority One distress call. State the nature of your emergency," Haruka snapped.

"Well, perhaps you better beam over. I'll try to explain." Takane was awfully calm for someone being yelled at by the most famous captain in Starfleet.

"'You'll try to explain,'" Haruka imitated, rolling her eyes. "You'd better be prepared to do more than that. Haruka out." She turned to Chihaya. "I'll need your help. Lt. Azusa, maintain battle readiness. Lt. Miki, see that the transporter room is standing by."

"Aye, sir." Miki clicked a switch and spoke into a mike. "Transporter room, stand by."

* * *

(On the space station, in Commander Takane's office. There's a brown-haired boy standing next to her: Touma Amagase. He looks pretty pissed off. Then again, that seems to be his default facial expression.)

In a shimmer of golden light, Haruka and Chihaya materialized on the two-man transporter pad set up in Takane's office. Haruka immediately began chewing out the white-haired girl.

"Commander Takane, if there's no emergency, why did you issue a priority one distress call?" She stepped off the pad, frowning.

Touma stepped forward. "That was my order, Captain."

Chihaya raised an eyebrow as if to say, and you are?

"This is Touma Amagase," Takane said as if she had read the Vulcan's mind. "He's out from Earth to take charge of the development project on Sherman's Planet." She was the only one in the room that didn't seem to be offended by the presence of the idol's main rival in the room. But Takane was never troubled by anything.

"And... that gives you the authority to put an entire quadrant on defence alert?" Haruka asked sardonically.

"Mister Touma is the Federation Undersecretary in Charge of Agricultural Affairs in this quadrant," Takane noted calmly.

Chihaya leaned forward to whisper in her captain's ear. "That gives him the authority."

"...ah."

"And now Captain, I want all available security guards. I want them posted around the storage compartments," Touma said commandingly, glaring at the brown-haired idol.

"Storage compartments? Storage compartments?" Haruka looked confused.

"The storage compartments containing the quadrotriticale," Takane replied. Touma simply lifted his chin as if he were far superior to them all and couldn't be bothered to answer the captain's questions.

"What? What? What's quadro-whatever?" Takane handed her a small packet full of some kind of grain. "Wheat. So what?" Haruka looked incredulous.

"Quadrotriticale is not _wheat_, Captain." Touma said disdainfully. "Of course, I wouldn't expect you or Commander Chihaya to know about such things, but quadrotriticale is a rather-"

"Quadrotriticale is a high-yield grain, a four-lobed hybrid of wheat and rye," Chihaya cut in, looking quite satisfied. "A perennial, also, I believe. Its root grain, triticale, can trace its ancestry all the way back to twentieth century Canada-"

"Thank you, Chihaya, you've made your point." Haruka flashed her first officer a smile.

"Quadrotriticale is the only earth grain that grows on Sherman's Planet. We have several tons of it here on the station. It's very important that grain gets to Sherman's Planet safely. Mister Touma thinks that Klingon agents may try to sabotage it." Takane looked at the brown-haired boy. "Anything else?"

Haruka was quite incensed. " You issued a priority one distress call for a couple of tons of _wheat_?"

"Quadrotriticale!" Touma snapped. "Get it right, you idiot!" That, too, was off script. Maybe his personal problems with the girls of 765 Pro were showing through.

...What, Touma Amagase losing his temper? Never!

"Of course, Captain, I realise that-" Takane began.

"Commander Takane, you summoned the Enterprise without an emergency. You'll take full responsibility for it." Haruka crossed her arms.

"What do you mean?" Touma asked, annoyed.

"Misuse of the Priority One channels is a Federation offense," Chihaya informed him.

"I did _not_ misuse the Priority One channel. I want that grain protected." Touma looked like he couldn't believe he was actually saying lines about grain.

Takane broke in, ever the peacemaker. "Captain, couldn't you at least post a couple of guards? We do have a large number of ships passing through."

"It would seem a logical precaution, Captain. The Sherman's Planet affair is of extreme importance to the Federation," Chihaya noted reluctantly.

Haruka sighed and flipped her communicator open. "Haruka to Enterprise."

"Mikimiki here~ I mean, Enterprise here."

"Secure from general quarters. And beam down two, and only two, security guards." She glanced over at Touma, who glared back at her. "Have them report to Mister Touma. Authorise shore leave for all off-duty personnel."

"Yes captain~"

"Haruka out." The captain flipped the communicator shut and stuck it back in her belt.

Touma immediately moved in. "Captain Haruka, how dare you authorise a mere two men for a project of this importance? Starfleet Command-"

"I have never questioned the orders or the intelligence of any representative of the Federation. _Until now,_" Haruka hissed. She turned and stormed out of the room, followed by a much calmer Chihaya.

* * *

(cut to the K7 bar. As is typical of most human establishments, someone has set up a facility for the serving of alcoholic drinks by pretty females. Captain Haruka and Lt. Commander Chihaya sit at the bar, across from the barkeeper, Yukiho.)

"Summoning a starship on a priority A-1 channel to guard some storage compartments. Storage compartments of wheat." Haruka shook her head, letting out an annoyed laugh. "How's that logical, Chihaya?"

The Vulcan raised an eyebrow. "Nevertheless Captain, the Klingons would not enjoy seeing us successfully develop Sherman's Planet."

"I guess not." Haruka finished her drink and pushed the glass across the bar. She stood to leave, and Chihaya followed her. On their way out they passed Miki and Yayoi on their way in. " I see you didn't waste time taking your shore leave."

"Well, how often do I get shore leave~?" Miki asked, smiling.

"She wants to shop, and I thought I would help her," Yayoi informed the captain.

"Oh, excuse me. Excuse me!" A pair of brown-haired girls darted in, grinning mischievously. "Ami and Mami Futami at your service! All kinds of awesome stuff! We sell and buy!" Those last few lines were most definitely not in the script.

Haruka ignored the twins, who promptly made their way to Yukiho at the bar. The captain handed Yayoi the small sample packet of grain that Touma had given her. "What do you make of this?" she asked.

Yayoi held it up, inspecting it. "Oh, quadrotriticale."

"Does _everyone_ know about this wheat stuff except me?" Haruka groaned.

"Oh, no!" Yayoi hastened to assure her. "It's just that it's always at a discount price at the grocery store! So I always get it!"

"I see." Haruka shook her head and walked out the door. Chihaya glanced back one last time, then followed her captain.

(at the bar. Ami and Mami lean over the divider to talk to a flustered looking Yukiho.)

"I- I don't want any. I told you before, and I'm telling you again I don't want any more Spican flame gems. Thanks to you, I have enough Spican flame gems to last me a lifetime." Yayoi waved her hands at the twins, trying to get rid of them.

"How sad for you, my friend. You won't find a finer stone anywhere." Ami shook her head.

"But I have something better! Surely you want some... Antarian glow water?" Mami shoved a small bottle full of milky white liquid in Yukiho's face, grinning.

"I use that to polish the flame gems," Yukiho muttered, fidgeting. "Look..."

"Oh, you're a hard customer," Mami groaned.

"But... surely you want one of these?" Ami gasped, pulling what looked like a ball of fluff out of her pocket.

"What's that?" Miki asked, popping out of nowhere and grabbing it from Ami's hand. The brown-haired girl gasped and tried to grab it back, but the blonde held it out of her reach. "Oh, it's adorable. What is it?"

"That, lovely lady," Mami said, "is a _tribble_." She grinned triumphantly.

"What's a tribble?" Miki asked, tilting her head to one side.

"Only the sweetest creature known to man, excepting, of course, your lovely self~" Ami replied.

"Oh, it's purring. Listen, it's purring." Miki grinned. "Miki will take it." She turned to Yayoi, who had opened the grain packet and was examining the contents. "Isn't it just the cutest thing, Yayoicchi?"

"Um..." Yayoi nodded. "Hey, hey, it's eating my grain!"

And indeed it was. The tiny ball of fluff, which looked like nothing more than a large brown... well, ball of fluff, was nomming on the grain.

"Hm~ how cute!" Miki cheered.

* * *

(in the briefing room. Captain Haruka sits at the table next to Lt. Commander Chihaya.)

"Captain?" Miki's voice broke in over the comm system.

"Yep?"

"Message from Starfleet, Captain. Priority channel. Admiral Fitzpatrick speaking."

"Put it on visual." Haruka pulled a computer console closer to her. The director- who also happened to be Producer-san- appeared on the screen.

"Captain, it is not necessary to remind you of the importance to the Federation of Sherman's Planet. The key to our winning of this planet is the grain quadrotriticale. The shipment of it must be protected. Effective immediately, you will render any aid and assistance which Undersecretary Touma may require. The safety of the grain and the project is your responsibility. Starfleet out. "

"Well, then. That's just lovely."

"But not totally unexpected," Chihaya pointed out.

"Captain Haruka! Captain Haruka!" Miki called.

"What?"

"Sensors are picking up a Klingon battle cruiser rapidly closing on the station!"

Haruka groaned. "Go to Red Alert. Notify Commander Takane. We'll be right up."

* * *

(on the bridge. Red alert lights are on... again. Captain Haruka walks on and sits down in the captain's chair.)

"What is the position of the Klingon ship?" she asked, all business.

"A hundred kilometres off K7. It's just sitting there," Azusa informed her.

"Captain, I have Takane," Miki said, pushing her earpiece in further.

"Onscreen." Which actually should have been 'put her on visual' since this wasn't NextGen, but maybe Haruka was a secret Trekkie.

"Aye, sir." An image of the white-haired girl, accompanied by Touma, appeared on the main viewscreen at the front of the bridge.

"Commander Takane, there's a Klingon warship hanging one hundred kilometres off your station." And they probably want to kill you. And take Touma's precious grain. Haruka didn't say these last two things out loud, of course.

"I know."

Haruka frowned. "And... you're not worried."

"I don't think the Klingons are planning to attack us." Takane smiled mysteriously.

"...why's that?"

"Because at this moment the captain of the Klingon ship is sitting right here in my office." And a Klingon that looked a lot like Makoto Kikuchi stepped into the camera's field of view.

Haruka sighed. "Cancel Red Alert. We'll beam right down."

* * *

**Review please.**


	8. Scene Two: Fight!

**Scene Two**

* * *

"Captain's log, stardate 4524.2. A Klingon warship is hovering only a hundred kilometres from Deep Space Station K7 while its captain waits in the station manager's office. Their intentions are unknown." Somehow Haruka was able to record a captain's log entry on her way from the bridge to the transporter room. That must have been one of the qualifications for Starfleet captain.

(cut to Takane's office. Everyone's smiling kind of uncomfortably: Captain Haruka and of course Lt. Commander Chihaya, the Klingon who's apparently named Makoto, and Commander Takane.)

"Ah, my dear Captain Haruka!" Makoto said, grinning evilly like a true TOS Klingon.

"My... my dear Captain Makoto." Haruka didn't look too comfortable with one of the Federation's worst enemies in the room.

"Let me assure you that my intentions are peaceful. As I've already told Takane, the purpose of my presence is to invoke shore leave rights." The continuing evil grin was at odds with this peaceful sentiment.

"Shore leave?"

"Captain, we Klingons are not as luxury-minded as you Earthers. We do not equip our ships with, how shall I say it, have been in space for five months. What we choose as recreation is our own business." When she saw that Haruka still wasn't convinced, she added, "Under terms of the Organian Peace Treaty, you _cannot_ refuse us."

"He is correct," Chihaya noted.

"Ah..." Haruka glanced hurriedly at Takane. "Yes, well, I don't make those decisions. _Takane_ is in charge of those matters."

"May I speak with you, captain?" Takane took Haruka's arm and pulled her aside, apparently taking advantage of the good old if-we-move-two-yards-away-they-won't-hear-us principle. "I... do not want them here, but I don't have the authority to refuse."

"Well, I have the authority to act, and I'm going to use it." Haruka turned back to the Klingon. "My dear Captain Makoto, you may indeed bring your men down on shore leave, but only twelve at a time. And I assure you, for every man you bring down here, I shall have one security guard. There will be no trouble."

"Captain Haruka, there's been no formal declaration of hostilities between our two respective governments. So, naturally, our relationship will be a peaceful one." Makoto smiled menacingly at Haruka, as if implying that the fact that the Federation and the Klingon Empire weren't at war was the only thing keeping ehr from punching the captain.

Haruka raised an eyebrow in a very Vulcan-like gesture. "Let us both take steps to keep it that way."

"Of course~"

* * *

(Rec room. There's a crowd of people at the table, with Lt. Miki and Dr. Iori among them. Commander Hibiki sits at a computer, reading what looks like a series of technical schematics. Lt. Commander Chihaya and Captain Haruka enter.)

"Another technical journal, Hibiki?" Haruka asked.

"Yep!" The grey-haired engineer looked up, grinning.

"Don't you ever relax?"

Hibiki looked confused. "I am relaxing."

"I see." Haruka nodded and made her way over to the table. Miki sat with her brown tribble on her lap... and seven or eight more in front of her, in various shades of brown and grey.

"How long have you had that thing, Miki?" Iori was asking the blonde.

"Since yesterday, Deko-ch- I mean, Doctor~ This morning, I found out that he, I mean she, had had babies." Miki smiled up at the annoyed looking Iori.

"You running a nursery, Lieutenant?" Haruka asked, plopping herself down in her seat.

"Oh, captain!" Miki looked up. "Well, Miki hadn't intended to, sir, but the tribble had other plans."

"Did you get this at the space station?"

"Yep~"

"Curious," said Chihaya. The blue-haired Vulcan had picked up a tribble and was stroking it, apparently unaware of what she was doing. "A most curious creature, Captain. Its trilling seems to have a tranquillising effect on the human nervous system. Fortunately, of course, I am immune to its effect." She continued stroking it.

Staaare...

She looked down as if only just realizing what she was doing and hastily put the tribble down.

"Lieutenant, do you mind if I take one of these down to the lab to see what makes it tick?" Iori looked very amused by Chihaya's out-of-character moment.

"Well, all right, Doctor, but if you're going to dissect it, Miki doesn't want to know about it~"

"I won't harm a hair on its head, wherever that is." Iori frowned down at the tribbles on the table.

"Say, Lieutenant. Seeing as you're giving them away, can I have one?" one of the supporting actors called.

"Go ahead~" Miki grinned.

* * *

(Captain Haruka walks down the corridor, trailed by Lt. Commander Chihaya. The comm whistle sounds and Haruka moves to the nearest comm panel. Lt. Azusa's face appears onscreen.)

"Bridge to Captain Haruka."

"Haruka here." The usual stating of the obvious that goes on all the time in Starfleet.

"Mister Touma waiting is on channel E to speak to you, sir."

"Pipe it down here." Haruka looked satisfied for some reason.

"Aye, sir. Mister Touma is coming on."

"What can I do for you, Touma?" Haruka was practically smirking at this point.

"This station is swarming with Klingons!" Touma yelled the instant he appeared onscreen.

"I was not aware, Mister Touma, that twelve Klingons constitutes a swarm." Haruka was having way too much fun pissing the brown-haired boy off.

"Captain Haruka, there are Klingon soldiers on this station. Now, I want you to keep that grain safe."

"Mister Touma, I _have_ guards around the grain. I _have_ guards around the Klingons. The only reason those guards are there is because Starfleet wants them there. As for what you want..." Haruka caught a pointed glance from Chihaya and revised what she had been about to say. "...It has been noted and logged. Haruka out." She turned and started stalking back down the corridor towards the turbolift.

"Captain, may I ask where you'll be?" Chihaya called after her.

"Sickbay with a headache," Haruka snapped.

* * *

(Sickbay. Dr. Iori stands in front of a clear container with eleven tribbles in it of various sizes and colors, looking quite perplexed. Captain Haruka walks in.)

"Haruka."

"Iori, what have you got for a headache?" Haruka mumbled, rubbing her temple.

"Let me guess. Klingons? Touma?" Iori crossed her arms, making no move to give Haruka headache medicine of any kind. Haruka sighed and opened one of the cupboards herself, rummaging around in it for medication.

"Both." She found a bottle of some pills and opened it, popping a few into her mouth. "How many of those things did Miki give you?" she asked, noticing the tribbles for the first time.

"One."

"But... you've got... eleven."

"Nice to know that you can count," Iori remarked sarcastically.

"How do they... you know?"

"I haven't figured that out yet, but I can tell you this much. Almost fifty percent of the creature's metabolism is geared for reproduction. Do you know what you get if you feed a tribble too much?"

"A... fat tribble?"

"No. You get a bunch of hungry little tribbles."

Haruka turned to leave. "Well, Iori, all I can suggest is you open up a maternity ward."

* * *

(Transporter room. Commander Hibiki and Lt. Yayoi stand among a group of others beaming down for shore leave. Captain Haruka paces in front of them, giving them last minute instructions)

"I want all you men going on shore leave to stay in groups. Avoid trouble with the Klingons." Haruka glared pointedly at some of them.

"I'll tell them before the others go, sir," Hibiki said.

Haruka looks surprised. "Aren't you going down?"

"Why, no, sir."

"I want you to go on shore leave. Make sure that everybody stays out of trouble."

"But captain..." Hibiki wilted under Haruka's stare. "...aye sir."

"Oh, Hibikin. Enjoy yourself." Haruka grinned and walked out.

* * *

(bar on K7. Commander Hibiki and Lt. Yayoi sit at one table. Next to them, the Klingon Makoto is talking to Yukiho in a very loud voice, obviously intending for the Starfleeters to hear her)

Ami and Mami popped out of nowhere. "Anyone want a tribble?" The twins held out their hands, a fluffy ball in each. They approached the table where Makoto was sitting with some of her Klingon buddies.

"I don't want one," Makoto snapped.

"You sure?" Ami shoved it closer. The tribble suddenly started to squeal, a high-pitched whistling noise that made everyone in the room cringe. Ami withdrew it. "That's funny," she mused.

"We've never seen them do that before!" Mami added.

"Get that thing away from me!" Makoto snapped. The twins withdrew and went to go bother Yukiho at the bar.

Hibiki chuckled and took a sip of her drink. Yayoi glanced over at the table with the Klingons, looking slightly worried.

"The Earthers like those fuzzy things, don't they?" Makoto said loudly, talking to one of her fellow Klingons. "Frankly, I never liked Earthers. They remind me of Regulan blood worms."

"Hey!" Yayoi started to stand, an outraged expression on her face. Hibiki grabbed her wrist and forced her to sit back down, a smalls mile on her face.

"Easy, Yayoi. You ought to be more forgiving."

"No. I just remembered," Makoto continued, a mischievous grin on her face. "There is one Earther who doesn't remind me of a Regulan blood worm. That's Haruka. A Regulan blood worm is soft and shapeless, but Haruka isn't soft. Haruka may be a swaggering, overbearing, tin-plated dictator with delusions of godhood, but she's not soft."

"You take that back!" This time Yayoi lept to her feet before Hibiki could stop her.

"Take it easy. Everybody's entitled to an opinion." Somehow Hibiki still wasn't affected by the Klingon's insults.

"That's right, and if I think that Haruka is a Denebian slime devil, well that's my opinion too." Makoto seemed to be having way too much fun insulting Haruka- she was a good actor, if nothing else.

Yayoi started forward. "Don't do it, mister, and that's an order," Hibiki snapped.

"But- but you heard what she called the captain!" The orange-haired girl was almost crying with rage by now.

"Forget it. It's not worth fighting for. We're big enough to take a few insults. Now, drink your drink." Hibiki demonstrated, knocking back her electric blue drink.

"Of course, I'd say that Captain Haruka deserves her ship," Makoto called over. "We like the Enterprise. We really do. That sagging old rust bucket is designed like a garbage scow. Half the quadrant knows it. That's why they're learning to speak Klingonese."

Hibiki's dark eyes flashed with rage as she stood- no one insulted the Enterprise in the chief engineer's hearing. "Don't you think you'd better rephrase that?" she asked the Klingon, raising a fist.

"Hibiki!" Yayoi gasped.

"You're right, I should. I didn't mean to say that the Enterprise should be hauling garbage." Makoto paused, savoring what she was about to say next. "I meant to say that it should be _hauled_ _away_ as garbage."

Hibiki's fist flashed out, making contact with Makoto's jaw with a solid sounding thump. There was a fight, of course- the Starfleet people jumping up and going at it with the Klingons. Yayoi stood off to the side, hands clapped over her mouth.

"The captain's gonna be so mad..." she whimpered.

Unnoticed by the fighters, Ami and Mami snuck behind the bar and made off with several large cases of snacks.

* * *

**What will Haruka say when she finds out they got into a fight? *shudders* Fear for your life, Yayoi and Hibiki.**

**Review please.**


	9. Scene Three: Born Pregnant

**Scene Three**

* * *

"Captain's Log, stardate 4525.6. A small disturbance between the Klingon crew and members of the Enterprise crew has broken out aboard Space Station K7. I am forced to cancel shore leave for both ships."

(In the briefing room. All Enterprise crewmen involved in the fight, including Lt. Yayoi [who has a nice bruise on one cheek] and Commander Hibki stand in a line in front of Captain Haruka, who looks very pissed off.)

"I want to know who started it. I'm waiting. Freeman, who started the fight?" Haruka turned on a terrified looking boy, who shook his head.

"I don't know, sir." An absolute lie- everyone knew who started it. They were trying to protect Hibiki. That was what crewmates did.

"All right." Haruka turned on the orange haired girl at the end of the line. "Yayoi. I know you. You started it, didn't you?"

"No, sir, I didn't." Yayoi shook her head emphatically.

"Then who did?"

"I... I don't know, sir." She looked at her feet.

"'I don't know, sir.'," Haruka imitated. "I want to know who threw the first punch." No one responded. "All right. You're all confined to quarters until I find out who started it. Dismissed." The crew filed out. Hibiki started for the door, too, but Haruka called her back. "Hibiki, not you."

"Yes?" The dark-haired girl turned.

"You were supposed to prevent trouble, Commander Hibiki." Haruka looked sternly at her friend.

"Aye, Captain."

"Who threw the first punch, Hibiki?" The look on the captain's face made it clear that she wanted the truth.

"Um..."

"Who was it?" Haruka pressed, leaning forward.

"...me, sir," Hibiki mumbled, fidgeting.

"You did? Why?"

"They insulted us, sir." Hibiki looked up, angry. "They deserved it!"

"Must have been some insult.

"Aye, it was." Hibiki nodded.

Haruka frowned. "You threw the first punch."

"Aye. Yayoi wanted to, but I held him back."

"You held? Why did Chekov want to start a fight?" Haruka didn't seem to believe it.

"Well, the Klingon..." Hibiki looked embarassed. "Sir. Is this off the record?"

"No, this is not off the record."

"Well, Captain, the Klingons called you, uh a tin-plated, overbearing, swaggering dictator with delusions of godhood."

Haruka looked a bit offended. "Is that all?"

"No, sir. They also compared you with a Denebian slime devil."

"I see..." Haruka frowned.

Hibiki continued unprompted. "And then they said you-"

"...I get the picture, Hibiki."

"Yes, sir."

Haruka cleared her throat. "After they said... all this, that's when you hit the Klingons?"

"No, sir."

"No?"

"No, I didn't. You told us to avoid trouble." Hibiki grinned.

"Oh, yes."

"And I didn't see that it was worth fighting about. After all, we're big enough to take a few insults. Aren't we?" The chief engineer's grin widened as the captain struggled to not look insulted.

"What was it they said that started the fight?" You know, beside the fact that they'd insulted Hibiki's captain. Multiple times.

"They called the Enterprise a garbage scow, sir." Hibiki had an expression of righteous indignation on her face.

"I see. And _that's_ when you hit the Klingons?"

"Yes, sir."

Haruka couldn't believe it. "You hit the Klingons because they insulted the Enterprise, not because they-"

"Well, sir, this was a matter of pride." Hibiki shook her head sagely.

"All right, Hibiki. Dismissed. And you're restricted to quarters until further notice."

Unexpectedly, Hibiki grinned. "Yes, sir. Thank you, sir. That'll give me a chance to catch up on my technical journals."

* * *

(Sickbay. Lt. Commander Chihaya and Doctor Iori stand in front of a table on which a multitude of tribbles lie, purring softly.)

Chihaya shifted slightly, frowning. "Hm."

"What's the matter, Chihaya?" Iori glared at the Vulcan.

"There's something disquieting about these creatures."

"Don't tell me you've got a _feeling_," Iori taunted.

"Don't be insulting, Doctor. They remind me of the lilies of the field. They toil not, neither do they spin. But they seem to eat a great deal. I see no practical use for them." Chihaya shook her head.

"Does everything have to have a practical use for you? They're nice, soft, and furry, and they make a pleasant sound." Iori seemed to argue with Chihaya simply for the sake of arguing. It had been that way since the doctor and the Vulcan had met.

"So would an ermine violin, but I see no advantage in having one," the blue-haired girl shot back.

"It's a human characteristic to love little animals, especially if they're attractive in some way." Iori sniffed, raising her chin.

"Doctor, I am well aware of human characteristics. I am frequently inundated by them, but I've trained myself to put up with practically anything." Chihaya raised an eyebrow.

"Chihaya, I don't know too much about these little tribbles yet, but there's one thing that I have discovered." Iori glared at the Vulcan.

"What's that?"

"I like them better than you."

"Doctor?"

"Yes?"

"They do have one redeeming characteristic," Chihaya said calmly.

"What's that?"

"They do not talk too much." She paused to let the insult sink in, then turned to the door to leave. "If you'll excuse me, Doctor."

* * *

(Bridge. Captain Haruka walks on, looking preoccupied. Everyone is in their usual positions. Every available surface is scattered with tribbles of various sizes and shapes.)

Haruka flopped herself down into the captain's chair. There was a loud squeak and she shot up, groping o her chair seat. Her hand emerged with a tribble clutched in it. She stared at it for a few seconds, then realized that her bridge was covered in the fluffballs.

She clicked the comm switch. "Doctor Iori, would you mind coming up to the bridge?" She stood and walked over to the communications station. "Lieutenant Miki, how did all these tribbles get on the bridge?"

The blonde grinned up at her. "I don't know, sir. They do seem to be all over the ship~"

Iori walked in, the turbolift door closing behind her. The doctor was holding a tribble in her hand, stroking it absentmindedly.

"Doctor?" Haruka snapped, gesturing to the infested bridge.

"Yes? Did you want to see me, Haruka?" Iori shrugged, smirking. "Don't look at me. It's the tribbles who are breeding. If we don't get them off this ship, we're going to be hip deep in them."

"How are they breeding?" she asked, shaking her head.

"The nearest thing I can figure out is they're born pregnant, which seems to be quite a time saver."

"I know, but really-"

Iori interrupted her. "And from my observations, it seems they're bisexual, reproducing at will. And boy have they got a lot of will."

Chihaya turned to Haruka. "Captain, I am forced to agree with the doctor. I've been running computations on their rate of reproduction. The figures are taking an alarming direction. They're consuming our supplies and returning nothing."

"But they do give us something!" Miki exclaimed. "They give us love~" When everyone stared at her, she shrugged. "Well, Ami and Mami said a tribble is the only love that money can buy~"

"Too much of anything, Lieutenant, even love, isn't necessarily a good thing." Haruka and her deep comments. Really. Must have been another requirement to becoming a Starfleet captain: the ability to make deep, thoughtful observations like that.

"Yes, captain." Miki wilted slightly.

"Get the maintenance crew to clean up the entire ship, and then contact Takane and tell her I'm beaming down."

"Aye, sir."

"Have her find Ami and Mami and hold them."

"Aye, sir."

"And get these tribbles off my bridge!"

"...aye, sir."

* * *

(Takane's office. Ami and Mami sit side by side in a chair, while Captain Haruka and Lt. Commander Chihaya stand over them.)

"Captain Haruka, I'm mystified at your tone of voice," Ami pouted.

"I've done nothing to warrant such severe treatment!" Mami added. "Neither has Ami!"

"Really?" Haruka looked doubtful.

"Surely you must have realised what would happen if you removed the tribbles from their predator-filled environment into an environment where their natural multiplicative proclivities would have no restraining factors," Chihaya deadpanned.

"Yeah!" Ami said. "...what did you say?"

Chihaya rolled her eyes. "By removing the tribbles from their natural habitat, you have, so to speak, removed the cork from the bottle and allowed the genie to escape."

"If by that, you mean do they breed quickly?" Ami tilted her head to one side.

"Of course, that's how we maintain our stock!" Mami said." Breeding animals is not against regulations, only breeding dangerous ones."

"And tribbles are not dangerous," Ami finished for her.

"Just incredibly prolific." Haruka shook her head.

"That's how we make money!" Ami cheered. "Can we go now?"

"Go ahead." The twins darted out the door, almost running into Takane and Touma as they entered. The boy glared at them as they ran down the hall, then turned to Haruka.

"Captain Haruka, I consider your security measures a disgrace. In my opinion, you have taken this important project far too lightly."

"On the contrary, sir. I think of this project as very important. It is you I take lightly." Haruka smiled.

Touma ignored the insult. "I am going to report fully to the proper authorities that you have given free and complete access to this station to someone- two someones- who are quite probably Klingon agents."

"That's a serious charge. To whom are you referring?"

"To those two girls you just let out of here!"

"Ami and Mami Futami?" Haruka looked shocked. "Klingon agents?"

"You heard me," Touma snapped.

"She simply could not believe her ears," Chihaya muttered.

"What evidence do you have against them?" Haruka asked.

"My assistant has kept them under close surveillance for quite some time, and their actions have been most suspicious. I believe they was involved in that little altercation between your men and the men from-"

"Yes, yes. So?"

"Well Captain, I've checked their ship's log, and it seems that they was within the Klingon's sphere of influence less than four months ago. The girls are independent scouts, Captain. It is quite possible they are also Klingon spies."

"We have already checked on the background of Ami and Mami Futami," Chihaya broke in. "They are licensed asteroid locators and prospectors. They've never broken the law, at least not severely. For the past seven years, with their two-man spaceship, they've obtained a marginal living by engaging in the buying and selling of rare merchandise, including, unfortunately, tribbles."

"But they're after my grain!" Touma insisted.

"Do you have any proof?" Haruka asked.

"Well... no. But you can't deny he's disrupted this station."

"People have disrupted stations before without being Klingon agents. Sometimes, all they need is a title, Mr Touma. Unfortunately, disrupting a space station is not an offence. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a ship to tend to." She turned and stepped through the door, rolling her eyes.

* * *

(In the rec room. There are tribbles everywhere- on the tables, floors, chairs, even the chess board. Captain Haruka stands by the food dispenser, inputting her request.)

Haruka opened the little door on the food dispenser to find tribbles in her cup, tribbles in her sandwich and- as if to add insult to injury- a tribble staked on the end of her fork. She stared at this for a few seconds, then stalked over to where Chihaya sat. She shoved the tray in the Vulcan's face.

"My chicken sandwich and coffee. This is my chicken sandwich and coffee."

Chihaya raised an eyebrow. "Fascinating."

"I want these off the ship. I don't care if it takes every man we've got, I want them off the ship!" Haruka yelled.

Hibiki entered the room, dumping an armful of tribbles on the table. "They're into the machinery, all right, and they're probably in all the other food processors too."

"How?" Haruka slumped in her seat, staring helplessly at the tribbles swarming all over the room.

"Probably through one of the air vents."

Chihaya sat up straight, looking about as alarmed as it was possible for a Vulcan to look. "Captain, there are vents of that type on the space station."

Haruka nodded. "And in the storage compartments, now that you mention it. Contact Manager Takane and Touma. Have them meet us near the storage compartments. We're beaming down. Come on, Chihaya."

* * *

"What's the matter?" Touma looked up as Haruka and Chihaya materialized in his office.

"Plenty, if what I think is true is." She strode out the door towards the grain storage compartments, followed by Chihya and a concerned looking Touma.

* * *

Haruka reached the grain storage compartment doors and turned to the guard there. "Is that door secure?"

He looked confused. "Yes, sir. Nothing could get in."

"Open it."

"Okay." He reached for the overhead door. It swung open and an avalanche of tribbles fell from it, burying the captain of the Enterprise in a mound of small, fuzzy balls. There was no grain to be seen.

"Oh, shit."

* * *

**TRIBBLES EVERYWHERE.**

**Review please.**


	10. Scene Four: No Tribble At All

**Scene Four**

* * *

(in the storage room. Captain Haruka is buried by a pile of tribbles, while Lt. Commander Chihaya, Commander Takane, and Touma stand by.)

Haruka shoved the pile of fluff aside and stepped out, shaking her head. Chihaya bent and picked up a tribble to examine.

"They appear to be gorged, sir," she reported.

"Gorged? On my grain? Haruka, I am going to hold you responsible. There must be thousands of them," Touma snapped.

"Hundreds of thousands, no doubt." Haruka sighed.

"One million seven hundred seventy one thousand five hundred sixty one. That's assuming one tribble, multiplying with an average litter of ten, producing a new generation every twelve hours over a period of three days," Chihaya replied. Everyone stared at her.

"That's assuming they got here three days ago," the captain noted.

"And allowing for the amount of grain consumed and the volume of the storage compartment." The Vulcan nodded.

"Haruka, you should have known. You are responsible for turning the development project into a total disaster," Touma yelled.

"Mr. Touma-" Haruka began, but the brown-haired boy cut her off, furious.

"And I'm through being intimidated, Haruka. You have insulted me, you have ignored me, you've walked all over me. You have abused your authority, and you've rejected my requests. And this, this is the result," Touma spat, gesturing to the pile of tribbles. "I'm going to hold you responsible."

"I'll hold you in irons if you don't shut up," the captain shot back.

Dr. Iori burst in, waving a medical tricorder. "I think I've got it! All we have to do is quit feeding them. We quit feeding them, they stop breeding."

"Now she tells me," Haruka muttered, rolling her eyes.

Chihaya held up an inert tribble, frowning at it. "Captain, this tribble is dead. And so are these."

"A lot of them are dead. A lot of them are alive, but they won't be for long." Iori smiled.

"The logical assumption is that there is something in the grain," the blue-haired Vulcan proclaimed.

Haruka nodded. "Yes. Iori, I want the tribbles, the grain, everything analysed. I want to know what killed these tribbles."

"I haven't figured out what keeps them alive yet," the doctor muttered. At a glance from her captain, she relented. "All right, if I find out anything, I'll let you know." She turned and hurried out of the room.

"That isn't going to do you any good, Haruka," Touma continued as if the interruption had never occurred. "This project is ruined, and Starfleet is going to hear about it. And when they do, they will have a board of inquiry and they will roast you alive. And I am going to be there, Haruka, to enjoy every minute of it.

"Until that inquiry, I'm still the captain. And as Captain, I want two things done. First, find Ami and Mami, and second-" as another tribble tumbled from the compartment and hit her on the head- "close that door!"

* * *

(Takane's office. A security guard has Ami and Mami under guard as Captain Haruka. Lt. Commander Chihaya and Touma enter.)

"We really must protest this treatment, captain," Mami exclaimed.

"Yeah! You're just being a big meanie," Ami pouted.

"I've got a few questions for you two." Haruka sighed. "You do realize that this is all your fault, right?"

Before the twins could answer, Makoto the Klingon burst in. "Captain Haruka?"

"What do you want now?"

"An official apology addressed to the Klingon High Command. I expect you to assume full responsibility for the persecution of Klingon nationals in this quadrant," the grey haired Klingon snarled.

"An apology?"

"Yes. You've harassed my men. You've treated them like criminals. You've been most uncourteous, Captain Haruka. If you wish to avoid a diplomatic incident-"

"No, Haruka. You can't let him. That will give them the wedge they need to claim Sherman's Planet." Touma didn't actually seem all that concerned about the grain or the planet, but whatever.

"I believe that more than the word of an aggrieved Klingon commander would be necessary for that, Mister Touma," Chihaya noted impassively.

"Chihaya, as far as Sherman's Planet is concerned, Captain Haruka has already given it to us." Makoto grinned.

"Well, we'll see about that, but before I take any official action, I'd like to know just what happened. Who put the tribbles in the quadrotriticale? What was in the grain that killed them?" Haruka frowned. "I want answers!"

"Captain Haruka, before you go on, may I make a request?" Makoto asked.

"Yes?"

"Can you get those things out of here?" The Klingon gestured at the tribbles that Ami and Mami were holding, looking quite uncomfortable.

"Sure." The twins made their way to the door. As they passed Makoto, the tribbles began to shriek- just as they had in the bar earlier.

"Remarkable," Chihaya said, raising an eyebrow like a true Vulcan.

"Hold on a minute. I thought you said tribbles liked everybody." The captain looked confused.

"They do!" Ami protested. "Just... just not Makochin, apparently."

"Last time I saw them act like this was back at the bar," her sister added.

"What was in the bar?"

"Klingons." Ami pointed to Makoto. "She was there."

Haruka picked up a tribble and held it at Makoto. It started to squeal. "You're right, Ami. They don't like Klingons." Behind her, Iori entered. Haruka ignored her, appraoching Chihaya with the tribble. "But they do like Vulcans." She looked up at Chihaya, amused. "I didn't know you had it in you."

"Obviously tribbles are very perceptive creatures, Captain."

Haruka smirked and turned towards Touma. The tribble started to shriek. "They don't like you, Mister Touma. I wonder why. Iori?"

The doctor whipped out a medical tricorder and scanned Touma. "Heartbeat is all wrong. His body temperature is... Haruka, this man is a Klingon."

"I wonder what Starfleet Command will say about that. What about the grain, Iori?" The captain was grinning, happy to have been proven right.

"Oh, it was poisoned," Iori replied casually. "No biggie."

"...poisoned."

"Yes. It's been impregnated with a virus. The virus turns into an inert material in the bloodstream. The more the organism eats, the more inert matter is built up. So after two or three days, they reached a point where they couldn't take in enough nourishment to survive." For a few seconds there, Iori sounded remarkably like Chihaya. The Vulcan must have been rubbing off.

"They starved to death. In a storage compartment full of grain, they starved to death," Haruka whispered.

"Pretty much."

Haruka turned back to the Klingon spy. "Mister Touma, are you going to talk?"

"I have nothing to say-" Haruka thrust a tribble into his face and he backed away, eyes wide. "All right, I poisoned the grain! Take that thing away!"

"And the tribbles had nothing to do with it?"

Touma shook his head vehemently. "I don't know. I never saw one before in my life, and I hope I never see one of those fuzzy miserable things again."

"I'm certain that can be arranged, Touma. Guards?" Haruka called. A pair of security officers popped up and dragged Touma away.

"Captain Makoto. About that apology." Haruka tilted her head to one side, considering the Klingon.

"Yes?"

"You have six hours to get your ship out of Federation territory." She held out the tribble. It let loose an earsplitting shriek and Makoto hurried away. Considering the fluffball in her hand, the captain added, "You know, I think I could learn to like tribbles."

* * *

"Well, Captain, I suppose we're free to go now~" Mami grinned at the brown-haired girl.

"No, you're not. There's something I want to show you. You know what the penalty is for transporting an animal proven harmful to human life?" Haruka gestured to the room, which was covered in piles of tribbles.

"Captain, one little tribble isn't harmful~" Ami said.

"Captain, you wouldn't do a thing like that to us, now would you?" Mami added.

"Would you?" her twin repeated.

"The penalty is twenty years in a rehabilitation colony," Chihaya supplied helpfully.

"Captain Haruka," Mami began.

"Friend," her twin added.

"Friend Haruka. Surely we can come to some sort of mutual understanding. After all, our tribbles did put you wise to the poisoned grain."

"And they did help you to find the Klingon agent. You saved a lot of lives that way," Ami added.

"There is one thing you can do," Haruka informed them.

"What?"

"Pick up every tribble on the space station. If you do that, I'll speak to Takane about returning your spaceship."

"But... but that would take years!" Ami wailed.

"Seventeen point nine, to be exact," Chihaya corrected.

"Seventeen point nine years!" Mami cried.

"Consider it job security."

"You're so mean, captain." Ami sighed and bent down, beginning to stuff tribbles into her many pockets. Mami joined her, grumbling.

* * *

(Bridge. Everything is back to normal, with the captain in her usual chair.)

"Captain, Starfleet was able to divert that freighter," Miki said, tapping her earpiece and smiling.

"Good. That means Sherman's Planet will get its quadrotriticale only a few weeks late." The captain glanced around the bridge. "I don't see any tribbles around here."

"And you won't find a tribble on this entire ship," Iori pronounced triumphantly.

"Wow! How did you do it?"

"...Hibiki did, actually," the doctor admitted.

"Where are the tribbles, Hibiki?" Haruka asked the chief engineer.

Suddenly hesitant, the taller girl fidgeted. " Oh, er, Captain, it was really... Chihaya's recommendation."

"Of course. Chihaya?" Haruka turned to her science officer.

"Based on computer analysis, of course, taking into account the possibilities of-"

"I don't want to interrupt this mutual admiration society, but I'd like to know where the tribbles are." Haruka was starting to look annoyed.

"Chihaya, tell her!" Iori snapped.

"Well, it was Hibiki who performed the actual engineering," the Vulcan replied.

"Hibiki. _Where are the tribbles_?"

"I used the transporter, Captain."

"The transporter? Where did you transport them?" A horrible suspicion dawned on her face. "Hibiki, you didn't transport them into space, did you?"

"Oh, no!" Hibiki looked shocked. "I would never do that to an animal! That'd be inhumane!"

"Where are they, then?"

"I gave them a good home." Hibiki grinned at her.

"Where are they?" Haruka was practically yelling now.

"I gave them to the Klingons, sir."

"The... Klingons?" The captain's voice dropped to a whisper.

"Aye, sir. Before they went into warp, I transported the whole kit and caboodle into their engine room, where they'll be no tribble at all."

* * *

**LOL.**

**End of episode two! Might not post an episode three for awhile. ****Review please.**


End file.
